I'm not perfect, neither are you. Accept me the way i am or WALK AWAY.If you choose to accept me then it's a big risk, you'll have to be there when i need you, stand for me when i'm being treated unjustly, share my hopes,my dreams, my joy and my tears. I'm not saying it wont be hard, it'll snap ur back, but just have faith that i'll be all of this for you and more. I'll snap my back for you anytime, anywhere.
you'll have to believe that i'll never lie to you, i'll never hurt you. you'll have to believe in me, that i'll stand for you against all odds. and you'll have to make me COUNT, for you can't hold ur pain for urself as long as i'm here. you'll have to let urself need me as i need you. for this is a two way GAME, a one way freeway is not in much of use.
For so long now i've used to seek a sun, a someone or something that i give freely and with my own well a big part of me to revolve around, to take care of, to protect and above all to love unconditionally in a sort of platonic way. not because it made me feel way better to be a giver than a taker, but because i always had this urgue to give my life for someone who deserves it. The giving part was planting in me as far as i can remember, i've always lived with this quality inside of me, but i never got to choose the person that i would give. I kind of had responsibilities towards my family always. but a time came when i felt that i should give part of it as a gift for some special people in my life, and just like that before i knew it, you were one of the very first. You're my sun. You just never noticed !!
It seems like it was a very long time ago when you were the closest person to me. Before you i had a piece of paper that i trusted, no one else caught my attention, no one else could make me comfortable enough to loose all my masks infront of. If i had to look backwards and regret one thing, it would be that i didn't treasre you enough, cause i've learned now that by time you'll lose everything that you value the most.
Does God forgive us deserting our promises if we've forgotten about them? i know i promised you but i can't remember you anymore... your features vaguely blinds with my reality that it deludes me, i dnt knw what's real and what's not anymore. Maybe if you raised your hand so i can see you, i could recognize you and hold my promise for you !!
The most i fear for now that all our good moments will come back and haunt me afterwards. I know i'm giving you a slack, and it's your call now that decides anything that'll affects us. but i just want you to know that it's you and me that i'm worried about, not you alone,, not just me... but you and me.We've grown so close over the years, i guess i never imagined how anything can go wrong? i know that after he came into our lives i've changed alot, i've became so skeptic and paranoid, but it's only because i feared i wasn't that tough to deal with him if you got hurt !! i was only thinking about what's his next move and i forgot about us completly, and you too... you've forgotten about me.
You've unconsciously let me slip slowly, He became your sun so quickly that you didn't notice how badly i was treated by him. you didn't stand up for me as i stood up for you, and that was like a wake up call for me. I dnt say that i blame you for getting stunned by his glimmer, i know how it's like to be in love deeply, how is it like to feel that you're rooted into someone else's soul. I just blame you for not excusing me when i was the same, but to more even condemn me of not being a good friend.
I understand perfectly now how things are going to be. From now on i'll give you your own space, give you time to miss me, give you time to remember the days i used to take over in your life. I'll do all of that, respect you cause i owe you that much even though you hurt me unwillingly. I can't fight for you anylonger, i have to accept that we're driven by our distenies. Cause fighting to keep you in my life has consumed all what's left of aspiration in me. now it's your turn to decide if i'm good enough to keep.
The thing about having some space and getting to think things through is that you always find out something new about yourself. I may have lost you for a period of time, but i've accomplished to get my independance to the next step and spread my wings towards a new horizon. I managed to become my own sun. Not's that i don't believe in giving all my love unconditionally for those who i keep in my heart, but it's just i've come a long new standards for openning up that much for people i came across in this life. Between you and me, i don't think i'll ever be able to do it that far again !! You were a special kind of sun to me, not one that only lights, but you also sparkled wherever i went, i held you in my deepest prayers and profound secrets.
I'm not a perfect person, but God knows when it comes to you i do my best,i try my hardest to get to the farest end that i could reach. You once believed in us. You've given us a specialty that no relation could manage to keep, you've given us the right to judge ourselves by our intentions not by our actions, and for that i'm solemnly grateful that i can't blame you now for judging me for any action i've been accused of without even blaming me or demanding an answer in my defense.
I'm not perfect, neither are you. Accept me the way i am or WALK AWAY.If you choose to walkaway then i'll no longer be in your way. I've learned from you a lot, which i'm thankful to God that i did. we are more than friends, we're like family.we laughed together , cried together, we shared the good times, the bad times and all the in-between times. we were able to accept each other for our differences and those times that we couldn't, we stood out for eachother and were able to give out some space to our individuality and to just simply ... understand that we need to be respecting our own spaces and that we are only humans.
And for what's it worth, we're a keeper !! I learned to come in peace with my self, I hope you always have your peace of mind. I ask God to keep you safe as i continue to be my own Sun, to learn some more on my own, and hope that our roads will come across again. But for my own sake, i'm never gonna need you again. Not you... Not anyone else, PERIOD.
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