when you go,, you take all of me... =(
i no longer have wishes or desires for anything but u, you become my whole reason of being, my entire EXISTENCE parishes to be a shadow by your side.. how can u be like this? how can u erase me when your not around?
How??
, it's like i'm in a permanent shock , i cannot see through ur absence , icannot feel anything but you. everything else just parishes into nothingness !! Life loses the meaning, birds have no longer a reason to sing, roses has no longer a reason to blossom ..butterflies has no longer a reason to fly, and everything else but ur image... just fades away !
it's like when your here, i find all what have been lost from me, all my childish souvenirs becomes me...all my childish memories posses me, i become that innocent child running along with her teddy bear in her hand... i get lost in my wondering dreams,, and only you can find me !!
i have lost a lot of me through the years, somehow my naive innocence turned to a cynical joke, and my warm wide eyes turned into a wilderness anticipating a near but yet far danger... and only you can play with me my favorite hide and seek, and only you can find that child that once overthrew me !!
you're consuming my thoughts till the very end. i can no longer eat, drink or sleep. i can no longer think of anything else !! i guess i'm sick !! i never wanted you to be a part of my writings , i didnt want to cling on your memory , cause you're not like a teenage former love, you're different, a bit dangerous but yet more adequate, maybe i just hoped if i didnt include you in my papers , your memories will fade away, and then i wont regret that i got to proud to tell you anything . nowadays when i try to control my talent to write about anything i please to forget all about you, i can't ! i'm afraid my heart cannot be tamed !! i've tried several times but i couldn't.. and then i was driving myself crazy by not being able to talk, to tell you anything about it, or to even write !! you took my most precious gift of all and then i got tired so i just leaned my pen to a piece of paper and it also betrayed me .. and there on that piece of paper... there was you !!
you understand now why i cannot miss you anymore, these feelings are taking me away from anything real, it erupts suddenly when a thought of you passes by, and then it subtle without a warning or explanation, just like an ecstasy it only makes me to want more !!
just to only think of you gets me worn out, so how do you want me to even miss you more?
i cannot promise to let go of you. not now.. not when i'm still trying to figure out what is it that you do to me ? but i'm not trying to be with you either , i just want to find peace.. and if my peace is where you're around then i'll seek ur trace from far away, so that i wont get burned by your light when you're near... but even then ...
i want you to know,, that you have all my heart♥♥.. wherever you go, wherever i go ♥♥♥♥
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